I Fully Realized That Is a Natural Thing, If My some of my Actions or Attitudes That are Not Approved by Others.

I have a lot of story behind my life as a model..
My involvement as a model has given rise to many opportunities that taught me so
many new things.
All the processes that I've went through to continue to grow, more than just testing my ability in intellectuality.

BRINGING UP A LADY

I was really tomboy. probably still a tomboy until now. But I have to deal with so many offers that made me rich in experience.
"Brain, Beauty, Behaviour"
I really need time to process all that happened.cultivating it to make me as a woman who is not very "close" to the definition of "perfect".

My confidence is really tested

Outrage turned into a decision to give everything's best. without thinking about what others will judges.

Languages, manner, body languages, even your appearance.Where, I should show my women side.

MY PRINCIPE..IS I HAVE TO SHOW MY BEST IN A MAXIMUM WAY.


What I meant here is an incident where I had to wear a bikini in a photo session. All depends on how big our views and insights to be able to accept differences of opinion & respect decisions of others.

I have a goal in my life and I am an ambitious person. I learned a lot from the seniors in their improvisation on the real models life.

i could only just smile, or laugh .. coz i could understand that everyone has their own goals in life. money, loves, friends, stories, experiences, lessons ..

I started everything from the most minor things. That's why I could appreciate any artworks. Hopefully I could keep it up and carry it all in my life until my target was reached.

KEEP ON MOVING DEAR AVIOSY!!
KEEP ON ACTIVE!!
WHATEVER HAPPENED, I LOVES MY FAMILY!!
I LOVES MY FRIENDS!!!
YOU GUYS ARE EVERYTHING!!
DEAR PHOTOGRAPHERS, MANAGERS, ALL OF YOU!!
DEAR EX, THANK YOU!!
DEAR HATERS, THANK YOU !!

COZ I'M NOT PERFECT ...

I don't think I'm particularly beautiful at all..
I am scared of becoming a mother..

Sometimes I’d be silent and I might bore you.

I may not laugh at your jokes, and you may not understand the spell that’s enshrouding me.

Sometimes I’d get troubled and I’d fail to put into words what the hell it is that troubles me.

I wouldn’t be good company then, and I couldn’t make you smile.

Sometimes I’d get moody and I might not enjoy the things you’d like us to do together.

Sometimes I’d lose my temper and I’d no longer act like the fine person who stands before you today.

Sometimes I’d get jealous and I might say things I don’t really mean.

Sometimes I’d talk too much that I might drive you away.

Sometimes I’d get touchy and I’d get easily hurt.

And no matter how mature I try to be, at times I’d act in childish ways.

I’d demand things I shouldn’t, I’d say things I shouldn’t say.

And no matter how much I desire to protect you and make you happy, sometimes I’d be the one who’d cause you the most pain.

...COZ I'M NOT PERFECT ...

But if you will love me,
I will bare my whole self naked before you,
and I will reveal to you my soul.

If you will love me,
you can be certain that it is I that you will love,
not a mask that fools you and gives you only what your eyes desire to see.

If you will love me,
you can be certain that you will love the depths of me, all of me that is in me, and I in turn will love you with all of me, with all my soul, with all my mind, with all my spirit, with all my flaws and beauty, and with all my very heart.

How To Be Alone

If you are at first lonely, be patient.
If you've not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There's also the gym. If you're shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there's public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there's prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you're hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously (electric guitar plucking) based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers. Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town and so they -- like you -- will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner. A restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less intriguing a person when you're eating solo dessert to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger. In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing. Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you. Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching...because, they're probably not. And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things, down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, there're always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches might've never happened had you not been there by yourself

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner, look both further and farther for the endless quest for company. But no one's in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts, some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning were tokens for holding the lonely at bay. Cuz if you're happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you. All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be releived, keeps things interesting lifes magic things in reach.

And it doesn't mean you're not connected, that communitie's not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it. if your family doesn't get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

you could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

Stop Worrying About What Might Hold You Down, And Pay Attention To Why You're Standing Up.

I laugh to remember that life is for having fun

I read to remember that education is good in the long run

I smile to remember that some one may be falling in love with me

I dance to remember that a free spirit is the best way to be free

I work to remember that sometimes it's not going to be easy and that's a good thing

I talk to remember that everyone should have a distinct personality

I love because that's the way I think that I should be

I think because thats how I get to that place that is for me

I give advice because I want to make the world a better place

And I listen because it helps people feel like the world is safe

So laugh, read, smile and dance to see where life will take you. Work, talk, love and think to do the best that you can do. Give advice and listen just to help everybody else. But never put anyone else before yourself.

BACK IN THE DAY !!!!

Close your eyes... And go back...

*Before the Internet or the AIM
*Before semi automatics and weed
*Before playstation2 or X-box
*Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night...

..Way back...

*I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.
*Red light, Green light.
*Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.
*Mother May I?
*Red Rover
*four square
*Hula Hoops
*Running through the sprinkler
*Happy Meals
*Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car

Wait...

*Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
*Like Hey Arnold and Doug
*Recess
*Or what about legends of the hidden temple, global guts, double dare, bloody mary and who, ARE YOU AFFRAID OF THE DARK!
*Who could forget Snick
*Or the teenage mutant ninja turtles, scooby doo, and Power Rangers,
*Christmas morning...
*Your first day of school
*Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses

*Climbing trees
*Getting an ice cream off the ice cream truck (the real ice cream truck w/ cones & banana splits)
*A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
*Jumpin' down the steps
*Jumpin' on the bed
*Pillow fights
*Runnin' till you were out of breath
*Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt and you almost peed your pants
*Laughing so hard that you did pee your pants
*Being tired from playin' all day
*Your first crush...
*Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7-Up" & "King chase the Queen" in the classroom
Remember that?

I'm not finished yet...

*Kool-Aid & Icee Cups was the drink of the summer
*Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars or spokes
*Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
*Class Field Trips
*When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
*When getting high was swinging on the swing-set
*When $5 seemed like a million, and another dollar a Miracle.
*When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were so cool.
*When Toys r Us overuled the "mall"

I want to go back to the time when...

*Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"
*Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
*"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
*Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
*Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
*It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
*Saying cuss words were referred to the "F, B or S - word" or h-e double hockey sticks.
*Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
*The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
*The only real heart break you had was when your mom wouldnt buy you that new toy
*Nobody was prettier than Mom
*Nobody was cooler than Dad
*Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better
*It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
*Getting an inch of snow was a dream come true.
*Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
*Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.


If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!

Just Because ...

Just Because – I’m quiet – it doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to say
Just Because – I appear happy – doesn’t mean everything’s ok
Just Because – I’m sarcastic – doesn’t mean I don’t take things seriously
Just Because – I forgive – doesn’t mean I forget
Just Because – I don’t listen to you – doesn’t mean I don’t care
Just Because – I’m gullible – doesn’t mean you can lie to me
Just Because – I’m stubborn – doesn’t mean I’m not easy going
Just Because – I don’t show my feelings – doesn’t mean I don’t have any
Just Because – I don’t say I love you – doesn’t mean I don’t
Just Because – I’m honest – doesn’t mean I’m outspoken
Just Because – I’m not like you – doesn’t mean I’m weird
Just Because – I’m unsure – doesn’t mean I’m afraid

Life is all about a**... you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it or behaving like

Life- 4 simple letters, yet so complicated
Love- 4 simple letters, yet so confusing
Destiny- 7 simple letters, yet so unpredictable
Feelings- 8 simple letters, yet so unexplainable
Words- 5 simple letters, yet there aren't enough to express
Regrets- 6 simple letters, yet they never seem to disappear
Silence- 7 simple letters, yet it can be so loud
Time- 4 simple letters, yet there is never enough
Sadness- 7 simple letters, yet it lingers everywhere
Pain- 4 simple letters, yet it takes so long to heal
Mistakes- 8 simple letters, yet they can never be erased
Beauty- 6 simple letters, yet so hard to see